OK blog-o-sphere... yeah I said that. Let's get down to some reality here. Fact: I love Mexico. Fact: I leave here on the day after tomorrow to go back to the cold north. Fact: I do not like that at all.
I'm terrified to return to my stupid life and my stupid world. I need sunshine and good days more than anything. Those are things that don't exist where I live. At least not right now.
I didn't want this blog to ever be about the bad things in my life. I wanted it to be about adventure and excitement. I wanted it to be a real account of my journey... like Odysseus or Luke Skywalker or something. But what's life without problems from time to time?
So here's my fears... I'm going to go back to the states and fall apart because my life is pretty empty. I'm going to work my ass off to come back here to live and when I'm ready no one will want me here. That everything will have changed. Its a pretty normal fear I think.
I guess its just me ruminating too much on what happened before, the last time I came here and then left, I was so alone and devastated that I lost a part of me.
Though they say everything happens for a reason, and maybe all of that happened so I could reevaluate my life and who I am, how I react to situations. Maybe it was just bad luck, or maybe it was something inspiring. Who really knows why things happen the way they do. I understand story, how to write one, how to tell one. Maybe all my training in the art of fiction was to understand life better. It's all just one big story after all. Beginning, middle, end. This story doesn't feel over. But I've always been bad at endings.
It didn't feel over two years ago either and look at me now. I'm back and it's almost like nothing changed, no time passed. That's one thing I love about this place... it's like picking up where you left off.
I have other problems. But they're for me to figure out, not for random blog readers to concern themselves with.
On a lighter note I think I found my job while I'm here... its exactly what I thought it would be. A copy editor in English. A new friend here is a non citizen and works for the board of tourism for Mexico, she is a translator more or less and speaks French. Last night I helped her edit some text in English because she wasn't positive how things sounded and the like. First time outside of my own writing I've put my skills to work... and copy editing is something I enjoy. So when I return to the states I'm going to start looking into that as a job.
I'm terrified to return to my stupid life and my stupid world. I need sunshine and good days more than anything. Those are things that don't exist where I live. At least not right now.
I didn't want this blog to ever be about the bad things in my life. I wanted it to be about adventure and excitement. I wanted it to be a real account of my journey... like Odysseus or Luke Skywalker or something. But what's life without problems from time to time?
So here's my fears... I'm going to go back to the states and fall apart because my life is pretty empty. I'm going to work my ass off to come back here to live and when I'm ready no one will want me here. That everything will have changed. Its a pretty normal fear I think.
I guess its just me ruminating too much on what happened before, the last time I came here and then left, I was so alone and devastated that I lost a part of me.
Though they say everything happens for a reason, and maybe all of that happened so I could reevaluate my life and who I am, how I react to situations. Maybe it was just bad luck, or maybe it was something inspiring. Who really knows why things happen the way they do. I understand story, how to write one, how to tell one. Maybe all my training in the art of fiction was to understand life better. It's all just one big story after all. Beginning, middle, end. This story doesn't feel over. But I've always been bad at endings.
It didn't feel over two years ago either and look at me now. I'm back and it's almost like nothing changed, no time passed. That's one thing I love about this place... it's like picking up where you left off.
I have other problems. But they're for me to figure out, not for random blog readers to concern themselves with.
On a lighter note I think I found my job while I'm here... its exactly what I thought it would be. A copy editor in English. A new friend here is a non citizen and works for the board of tourism for Mexico, she is a translator more or less and speaks French. Last night I helped her edit some text in English because she wasn't positive how things sounded and the like. First time outside of my own writing I've put my skills to work... and copy editing is something I enjoy. So when I return to the states I'm going to start looking into that as a job.
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