Well, I made my goal. I made the money I needed to make to take the trip. I was around thirty dollars over the goal actually. However, now the question is: should I go?
My mind is torn between the two options. I can't find a way to make a pro and con list.
In my dreams the answer comes and goes from yes to no. Back and forth it seems I'm being pulled but I have no idea what is right. If I go there again I could have the best time of my life and everything could make sense to me, or I could have a terrible time and things could get worse. My birthday is one month and seven days away. It's crunch time and I need to decide which is the best thing to do. But I have no idea.
I've spent all weekend thinking about this but no answer has come to me yet.
I wish someone could just tell me what to do. I wish the answer was obvious to me. Like a sign from the universe saying "yes Lorn, going to Mexico is a wonderful idea."
It's not the going to Mexico part that worries me, it's the where I'm going and who I'll be with that is a bit shaky. I'm worried that I'm going down a road I shouldn't go down. Like I'm jumping for something that I can't reach or that the second I jump the rug will get pulled out from under me and I'll crack my skull open on the ground when I land and inevitably lose my balance.
Flipping a coin seems like too careless of a decision making tactic. A pro and con list maybe but I think that I need to talk to Jose before making any final decisions.
The only problem is not knowing when I'll speak with him next to ask the questions I think need to be asked.
Why does life's decisions have to be so complicated?
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